For generations, we’ve been lulled into this false sense of motherhood security, where it is this perfect experience filled with nothing but goo-goo gah-gahs, happy times, and packed lunches. If we dare said anything “bad” about motherhood, we we’re considered ungrateful and bitchy; maybe even shunned from the motherhood community indefinitely. But there is one thing I appreciate about moms of today- our willingness to tell our motherhood truths, sparing no details and sometimes, no feelings. I’m giving you three motherhood truths I’m no longer ashamed to admit.
MOTHERHOOD TRUTHS I’M NO LONGER ASHAMED TO ADMIT
I ANTICIPATED THE “SNAP BACK”.
Call me vain but I was once wrapped up in “snap back” culture. If I sat here and said, “I carried life therefore nothing else mattered”, I’d be lying. My postpartum body was my top priority and I wanted to go back to looking like I was never pregnant. I wanted my flat tummy sans loose skin and stretch marks.
I would’ve killed for one of those mommy makeovers. The first glance at my postpartum body was filled with disappointment. Of course I played it off but I was dying on the inside. I missed my body simple as that.
As guilt began to overcome me, I stopped to remind myself of something. I’m pretty sure [almost] every mom had secretly wished to go back to their pre-pregnancy body at some point; so I came to the conclusion that this is a pretty common thought process and til this day, I don’t feel bad about it.
If you’re a mom who’s worried about your postpartum body, this is totally normal. Concern for your body’s appearance does not take away from the love and care you can give your tiny bundle.
Your body is not only a home for your baby but a home for you as well. Everyone wants their home to look nice whether they say it or not.
We all need time to recoup and recharge, and sometimes that has to happen without children in our presence. I’ll just come out and say it. Our children can work our nerves sometimes. They drive us up the wall and make us want to grab our hair and yank it, until there’s no follicle left in sight.
Since we’d like to avoid this as much as possible, here are some suggestions if they apply to you and your situation:
Let your partner take the children for a while so you could have some time alone to refill your cup.
If your partner isn’t available, maybe call a trusted friend or family member; (one who is willing to take the kids off your hands) and have some much needed me time.
For moms who may not have anyone but themselves: Even though it’s almost a goddamn myth, try the “sleeping when the baby sleeps” approach. Take advantage of nap times to have a few lazy moments to yourself.
I HATE PREGNANCY. I REALLY DO.
Pregnancy was so horrible for me that I’m terrified of ever becoming pregnant again. It was a high risk pregnancy, and I was ordered to stay on bed & pelvic rest. I had a low lying placenta, which eventually became Placenta Previa. What that meant was, my placenta would attach to and come out before the baby, running a risk of severe hemorrhaging according to my doctor and midwife.
Pregnancy was bad news for me. I had to accept the fact that a c-section was the only way to deliver and it was heartbreaking. My natural childbirth dreams were shattered.
On top of that, I have Protein C deficiency. Protein C deficiency is an inherited blood disorder that increases the risk of developing abnormal blood clots. Pregnancy exacerbates this. After giving birth, I developed a blood clot in my leg (Deep Vein Thrombosis) which eventually broke off and traveled to my lung (Pulmonary Embolism).
I hate pregnancy.
There you have it! A moment of mommy honesty from yours truly, KATRY.
What are your motherhood truths? Chime in below
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